You’re Allowed to Change Without Hating Who You Used to Be

It’s easy to look back on our past choices and feel embarrassed. Maybe we spent money on things we never really needed, ate or drank things that no longer serve us, or lived in a way that we now realize didn’t align with our values.

But here’s the truth: changing your mind or behavior doesn’t mean your past self was bad or wrong. It just means you’ve grown.

For a long time, I had a glass of wine most nights. It was just part of my routine—something I enjoyed without much thought. But over time, I started to feel differently about it. Maybe I didn’t love how it made me feel the next day, or maybe I just didn’t want it as often anymore. So I stopped. That doesn’t mean I judge my past self for enjoying that routine. It simply means that what worked for me then doesn’t work for me now.

The same goes for fast fashion. Years ago, I thought it was too exhausting to care. Finding ethical brands, considering sustainability, or resisting trendy, cheap purchases felt overwhelming. In my early 20s, I was the poster child for Forever 21. But now? I see things differently.

When we talk about decluttering—whether it’s our home, our habits, or our consumption—we often bump up against shame. “Why was I so wasteful?” “How could I have been so careless?” But none of those thoughts are helpful beyond how they help us make different choices moving forward. We don’t need to shame our past selves for not knowing what we know now. Growth isn’t about dwelling in the past; it’s about gaining more clarity for our future.

This is also why we have to be careful about attaching ourselves too tightly to any specific lifestyle or identity. If we cling too hard to being a minimalist, or being a wine drinker, or being someone who always shops a certain way, we box ourselves in. It doesn’t leave room for open-mindedness or growth. The goal isn’t to find a rigid identity and stick to it forever—it’s to stay open to learning and evolving.

If you’ve ever looked around at the clutter in your home and thought, I can’t believe I used to think I needed all this, take a deep breath. That version of you made the best choices they could at the time. And now? You’re making different ones. What a great sign that you’re living with intention!